08/20 - Recap

We started the session with the continuation of last week - getting the ladies to express their feelings about loosing roommates:
 * came alone, will leave alone therefore no need for attachment to anyone here (a way of protecting their heart)
 * it was deserved because those who were sent out got out what they put in
To the question: are you aware of the rules and their consequences? and do you understand them? - they all said  yes, that they clearly know the rules, they understand them and know about the consequences of not respecting them.
We ended this part of the discussion with the promise that the ladies will try to tone down the currently high negative vibes around them by spreading positivity in form of support of one another, kindness, and consideration in dealing with one another! :-) :-)

Out of our 'values' list, we started with "communication". How big or important 'listening' is a part to communication? the following are some of the answers from the ladies:
 - When you listen you get the most out of what is being said and what you yourself saying?
 - How can you respond to something you haven't heard yet?
 - listening will help you understand better what is being said
 - listening might help you see things better ... etc.
Listening with open mind and open heart means listening actively, listening to understand, listening with attention and this can only be done quietly with quiet mind .... not just shutting up long enough  for the partner to finish talking just so we can say what we have on our mind. This is the worst kind of passive listening as we listen without hearing anything.
On the other hand if we practice a bit of an active-listening, we might be able to see beyond what our partner is not saying or is having difficulties putting in words or expressing.

The Session ended with a very beautiful illustration of communication - The ladies took turn talking and listening to one another in giving advice and suggestions to a question that one of them had asked: "How to get a partner to listen and understand that she needs dew minutes away to cool off in the midst of a heated argument/fight?"
My take: It was beautiful witnessing them make their suggestions, backing up their point of view in an orderly manners without cutting one another off, actually responding to what the previous person  had said - which shows that they were actually listening not just waiting to talk! It was beautiful and after pointing it out to them that they do have it in them to be active good listeners, we made a promise that we would try to practice this in our ideal partnership or couple relationship. :-)